i thought LGBT was a sandwich
Lettuce, Glitter, Bacon, Tomato?
this is the best thing I’ve ever seen
The flight attendant just announced “If you don’t like any of my jokes, there are six exits” and told us where the emergency exits are it was actually the best
"for those of you who are traveling with children… WHY"
"if you’re changing to a flight with a different airline, we don’t care."
he said “okay now get out” once we landed i’m pissing myself
And God said unto Abraham, “Abraham.”
And Abraham replied, “What.”
God said to John, “Come forth and receive eternal life.” But John came fifth and won a toaster.
And Judas approached the rabbis and Pharisees saying, “The one whom I kiss is the one you seek.”
To which they responded, “Gay.”
And thus, god made Eve. And she was bammin’ slammin’ bootylicious.
see you all in hell
can’t you imagine it though?
ginny’s going through a questioning phase and her older brothers keep making sex jokes so she writes in her diary “what’s a clitoris?” and tom’s on the other side like “i am a dark lord but i have a duty to this poor girl”
are you trying to insinuate that Voldemort gave Ginny Weasley the sex talk
my mom said ‘Hitler was a penis potato’
and i have never been more confused in my life
until she looked at me like i was stupid and said ‘dictator… penis potato… god its like you’re not even my daughter’
i am so fucking done
actual photo of hitler
MY LIFE IS COMPLETE.